Somatic Therapy San Francisco: How Can Somatic Therapy Help With Anger?

Why Is Anger Such a Difficult Emotion to Deal With?

As a somatic therapist working in San Francisco, one thing I have seen over time is how different emotions (and holding on to different emotions) impact people not only mentally, but physically. Many of my clients describe feeling “stuck” or like they cannot progress and that they are disconnected from their feelings and thus, their life. In the meantime, many struggle with chronic conditions such as autoimmune disorders with little respite. I believe the ability to feel and express emotions in a healthy way has an impact on our physical bodies and that years of repressing or ignoring emotions exacerbates or causes illnesses to come to the forefront. One of the emotions I find that many of my clients struggle to feel, express, and ultimately let go of is anger. Women, in particular, appear to struggle with anger and also have autoimmune disorders at a higher rate, which some have suggested is linked to suppressed rage. So why is anger such a difficult emotion to deal with?

Why Do We Have Such Trouble Dealing With Anger?

1) As a society, we are not taught healthy ways to cope with anger.

There is a glorification of violence as a way to cope with anger instead of an understanding that we do not need to always act on anger but instead feel it, however unpleasant that may be, and allow it to dissipate.

2) The expression of anger is often gendered: men, women, trans, and non-binary people are often taught how to express anger differently (if at all).

a) Women have often been taught that they need to be agreeable and suppress anger in order to fit into society.

Historically, when women have expressed emotions such as anger, they have been labeled “hysterical” or called derogatory terms or dismissed as “too emotional.” To be able to function in society, women may default to being agreeable and not acknowledging their true feelings. This often affects both their mental and physical health.

b) Men are often taught that anger and violence are interlinked and that anger is one of the only acceptable emotions to express.

For many cisgender heterosexual men, anger is an emotion that is easy to access but not easy to control. If anger is one of the few emotions that is considered masculine, men may display that emotion more often than others. Underneath the anger can be a myriad of other emotions that they may be judged for expressing. Additionally, if anger and violence are seen as interchangeable, when a man feels anger he may feel violence is acceptable or justifiable as a response.

c) Trans people and non-binary people may feel anger due to societal microaggressions and hatred from a society that favors cisgender individuals.

Since trans people are four times more likely to experience violence than cisgender individuals, is it any wonder they experience rage? However, how trans people express rage may, again, be tempered by the fact that they are at risk of being hurt—they need to evaluate whether it is safe to express anger or rage in a given moment or situation. Non-binary people may face some of these challenges, in addition to being consistently misgendered and erased from society, which may be sources of anger.

(Source: Williams Institute https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/ncvs-trans-press-release/)

3) Anger is an uncomfortable emotion to feel, let alone express.

Anger in the body can feel physically uncomfortable... the tension that builds, feeling hot or burning, etc., and waiting until that emotion passes may feel impossible. Then, depending on how one expresses anger, the people receiving the expression of anger may respond favorably or not. Is there any wonder that we try to avoid anger because of the physical discomfort it causes and the fact that expressing anger can affect relationships?

How Can Somatic Therapy in San Francisco Help You Cope With Anger?

1) Somatic Therapy Allows Clients to Start to Acknowledge Their Feelings

When clients have experienced psychological trauma, it may not have been safe to acknowledge emotions, hence the disconnect from the body and feelings. Somatic therapy provides a way for clients to notice physical sensations and the emotions that they signify, in an environment set up to hold these emotions.

2) Somatic Therapy Can Help Clients Feel Anger in a Safe Space

Since therapists have the capacity to hold space for emotions, even those that are considered “difficult,” they can help clients learn to feel their anger and express it—and see that anger will not drive others away. Somatic therapists also help clients notice the sensations that tell them they are becoming angry or that their anger is fading. Along with anger, other secondary emotions may arise, such as shame or guilt, that may be a result of how an individual is taught to feel about feeling or expressing anger. These emotions may be the result of societal or familial conditioning and can also be processed with the somatic therapist.

3) A Skilled Somatic Therapist Helps Clients Find Ways to Cope With the Intense Physical Sensations of Anger

One of the reasons people avoid feeling anger is the intense physical sensations that accompany that emotion. Many of us are not taught to cope with anger by our caregivers and have minimal coping skills. Anger can be uncomfortable and, let's face it, our society conditions us to run away from anything that feels uncomfortable. Since part of being okay with being uncomfortable is continued practice, many people never get good at sitting with the discomfort that anger causes.

These are some of the ways somatic therapy can help a person learn to cope with and process anger. If you have questions about how somatic therapy can help you, please don't hesitate to reach out at (415) 212-8780 or lisa@lisamanca.com. Below are some FAQs about somatic therapy.

Frequently Asked Questions About Somatic Therapy in San Francisco (Specifically dance therapy)

1. Do I need to have dance experience for somatic therapy?

Not at all. Dance therapy isn’t about choreography or performance—it’s about exploration. You move in ways that feel authentic and safe to you.

2. What if I feel uncomfortable in my body?

That’s actually one of the most common reasons people come to this work. We go slowly and compassionately. Your comfort and consent are always prioritized.

3. Is this therapy or coaching?

This is therapy. I’m a licensed mental health professional and a board-certified dance therapist. We work with both emotional and physical experiences to support deep healing.

4. How often do we meet?

Weekly sessions are recommended. Consistency is key, especially early on as we build trust and momentum.

5. Can we do somatic therapy virtually?

Yes! Many clients choose online sessions and find the work still very powerful, even through a screen. I’ll guide you in creating a supportive space at home.

6. What if I cry or feel overwhelmed during a session?

That’s okay. Big feelings are welcome here. You’ll never be left alone in those moments—we’ll move through them together.

7. What if I’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t help?

Somatic therapy often works when other modalities don’t, especially if you’ve struggled to connect with your emotions or body. This approach goes beyond insight and into embodied change.

8. Do you work with trauma?

Yes, many of my clients are healing from developmental, relational, or complex trauma. Somatic therapy can be especially helpful for trauma recovery.

9. How do I know if this is right for me?

We’ll figure that out together. The free consult is a great time to talk through what you’re needing and whether this work aligns.

10. What should I wear to sessions?

Anything comfortable that lets you move freely. No need to dress up. Come as you are.