Somatic Therapy in San Francisco: Coping With Sexual Assault Triggers and Current Events

If you are feeling on edge, upset, or more sad or irritable than usual given with the news of the Cornell 7, you are not alone. There are greater levels of anxiety, grief, and anger at this moment in time. We are experiencing a reminder of individual sexual harassment or assaults that many of us have experienced, be it as cis or trans women. This somehow serves to make us a part of a collective trauma, a trauma from which no one is immune. Boys and men also experience sexual assault, usually at the hands of other men. And if someone is lucky enough not to have their lives directly touched by sexual assault, each and every one of us knows someone who has been assaulted. But why the sudden outpourings of feelings, if these are individual events that many of us have dealt with for years?

One reason is the profound sense of injustice, especially when we hear that rapists, or alleged rapists are punished by having to write essays rather than face prison time. There is a sense of being on a never ending treadmill, where we fight the same battles over and over and men, by virtue of their sex, evade culpability. As a society, we never seem to decide that men should learn the collective lesson to not sexually assault or rape women. Individual men learn and incorporate this lesson into their lives, so why can’t society as a whole do the same?

As a clinician, the only other time I recall this outpouring of emotion around sexual assault was in 2016, when Donald Trump had been elected president. To the shock and disbelief of many, someone who used the phrase “grab ‘em by the pussy” could be president of the United States. Many women who had been assaulted spoke about the effects of having a potential predator as president, not just for policy but especially on their mental health and sense of safety. Since that time, more of this president’s crimes (ongoing and past) have come to light, with sexual assault being a continual refrain in a vast symphony of offenses.

So how do you cope when triggered by certain news events as sexual assault survivor? As a somatic therapist in San Francisco, I'd like to share some ideas that may help.

Somatic Therapy San Francisco: 6 Ways to Cope With Current Events as a Sexual Assault Survivor

1) Take a break from the media if it keeps bringing up difficult things. Although it can seem helpful to stay continually updated on news about the Cornell 7, you may be unwittingly keeping your nervous system in a state of flight or fight. Consider taking a pause from reading anything about the case to give yourself a chance to reset, especially since commentary online can be cruel, hateful and dismissive of sexual assault survivors. There is no need to bombard yourself and your body and mind with continual negativity. You can still care about an issue while taking care of yourself.

2) Surround yourself with people who understand what you are going through. Not having to explain yourself or what you are going through can feel like such a relief. Many women have experienced sexual assault so you are NOT alone. Please reach out to other trusted family, friends, or mental health professionals with whom you can share your story and feel seen and heard. If you are a

3) Allow yourself to feel your feelings without judgment. You may feel sad, overwhelmed, numb, or angry. Although these feelings may seem to arise out of nowhere, or seem disproportionate, they are valid and should be honored. Healing is not linear and situations in life may elicit emotions or memories that we thought we had worked through. Although these feelings have recurred, you are not back at square one, you are simply moving through a different stage in healing. If you choose to work with a therapist, make sure to find someone who has extensive experience in psychological trauma.

The good news is that over time, the feelings will come less often and with less intensity.

4) Use healthy coping skills to help you get through it. Healthy ways to feel a bit more calm and centered should be a priority. Some ideas of healthy coping skils:

• Exercise or incorporate different forms of movement: Walking, stretching, dancing, or another form of movement that feels comfortable.

• Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and emotions without worrying about an audience.

• Social Connection: Talking with a trusted friend or therapist who can listen without judgment.

• Mindfulness and meditation: Taking a few moments to notice your breath, your environment, and the sensations in your body.

• Intentional distraction: Watching something funny, listening to music you like, or doing an activity that brings you moments of lightness or joy.

Do not be surprised if you need to incorporate multiple coping skills when you are having an especially hard time. Health distraction is also a good idea. . .watching shows that have humor or give moments of lightness may be especially helpful.

5) Take action if it feels right for you. Sometimes the feeling of helplessness in these situations is what is most overwhelming. Taking action can restore a sense of agency for many survivors. However, only take action if it feels encouraging rather than depleting.

Action can take many forms. You might contact Cornell University to express your concerns about its handling of the Cornell 7, donate your time or money to an organization supporting survivors, or participate in advocacy efforts around sexual violence and accountability.

You can also choose another form of action that aligns with your values.

Remember that you do not have to take action immediately (if at all) and you are not responsible for solving a problem you did not create. Resting, setting boundaries, and caring for yourself are also meaningful choices.

6) If you find you are having trouble coping, please reach out for help from trained mental health professionals.

If current events are significantly affecting your mood, relationships, sleep, or ability to function in your daily life, consider reaching out for professional support.

A therapist who specializes in treating trauma and helping clients overcome sexual assault can help you understand your reactions and triggers, work through painful emotions, and develop strategies for managing triggers..

Somatic therapy in San Francisco may be one option to explore if you are interested in a body-oriented approach to trauma therapy. Somatic approaches such as dance therapy can help you develop greater awareness of bodily sensations, recognize signs of stress, and explore ways of feeling more grounded and connected to the present.

If you would like help finding support for trauma related to sexual assault, please call me at (415) 212-8780.

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need immediate emotional support in the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

You Are Not Alone

Please remember that what many people are experiencing right now is a collective response to individual experiences of trauma, brought to the surface by current events.

Treat yourself and others with kindness and empathy. It is normal to experience a range of emotions when something triggers memories of sexual assault or reminds you of any experience in which you felt unsafe or powerless. It is also normal to feel numb, distracted, or unsure of what you are feeling.

You do not have to navigate these emotions alone, and you do not have to process everything at once.

Give yourself permission to slow down, seek support, and take care of yourself